I honestly thought that this day would never come. During exam period, my concept of time just seems to go into flux. The repetitive cycle of exams every week just makes me think that it will never end. But, at the same time, I just keep on scrabbling away for more and more time to revise, and I was never able to find it. Frustrating. Personally I want a Tardis.
Oh well, the hell of exams is over! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping away, and I'm about to have ice cream and watch Season 1-7 of How I Met Your Mother- simply because I can.
Summer starts now.
I guess that means I'm basically a third year student.
Eek.
Like I said, time seems to flux; one minute you're a naive first year student, the next minute you seem to be about to embark on your final year at university.
But anyway, here's to summer 2012; it's going to be brilliant. Possibly because of all the sun and fun, but mainly because I can actually read books that I want to read. :)
P.S. Lots of love and prayers to anyone with exams still!
1) You start analysing adverts/films/tv programmes.
Semiotics has ruined my life. I can't look at an advert without trying to work out the hidden message behind every advert. It happens all the time.
2) You start quoting Shakespeare in normal conversations, and the person you're talking to just has this expression like, "What are you doing? Are you having a fit right now?" Also, when you find jokes in Shakespeare funny.
3) You walk into the library, notice old books, and spend ages just staring at them with your friend whilst you both comment on how old you think they are and how old books smell good.
This makes me sound crazy. I'm not crazy. I think...
4) You spend your entire lunch break discussing romantic heroes in books. Your friends say Mr Darcy, you think they're crazy. (I mean why would you say Mr Darcy?! He complains, he ignores Elizabeth Bennet, he's proud, he's waaaay to picky about his women, he's condescending, and yes, ok, so he helps the Bennet family out in the end and has some good reasons for his arrogant behaviour, but come on, let's face it, if you had to choose, it's Mr Tilney all the way!)
5) You begin to realise that you HATE reading what you've been told to read; reading becomes your all time least favourite thing to do. Everything is more exciting than reading a play where NOTHING happens. (People studying Samuel Beckett will appreciate this)
6) You start questioning your own existence... This stage is usually the result of seminar discussions where questions are asked "Who is the author?" I am the author okay. I AM!
7) You realise Sparknotes is probably the best internet site ever. Lecture notes, who needs them?
8) You realise that you can get away with not reading a text for your seminar, and can afford to blag it, but then it gets to exam time and you want to kick your stupid, naive, former self for deciding not to read it, because now you HAVE to read it in less than 3 days and you have NO IDEA what it is talking about!
9) You realise you spend more time in the library than outside. There should be beds in there for nap time. I'm just saying
10) You can relate to the following video in excruciating detail, AND find the English jokes both hilarious and yet oh-so-true:
(The following video does contain swearing. Just in case you don't like that kind of thing. It is minimal though!)
So, I had one of those inspiring moments today. You know that feeling where you feel really awake, energetic, and genuinely motivated? Yeah, I had that. Then I realised that staying in bed was a lot more appealing. Sleep will always win in a fight against revising Renaissance playwrights, and after having two solid days of exams, I figured that I am entitled to a day off from all things intellectual. But at least I made a list of things I had to do today. That's productive.
What I was supposed to do today:
- Be ready by 9 o'clock
- 9- 11 am: Make notes on The Spanish Tragedy
- 11- 1 pm: Make notes on criticism about The Spanish Tragedy
- 1- 1.30 pm: Lunch break
- 1.30- 3.30 pm: Read Confessions of a Justified Sinner ... and that's as far as my list got.
But, what I actually did today was:
- 9- 11 am: Watch last night's episode of Glee (because although it's really annoying, it's also addictive to watch)
- 11- 4pm: Procrastinate on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and send a few relevant emails, whilst also watching a dvd.
- I literally can't remember what happened from 4 pm onwards. I think I watched Made in Chelsea during that time (and yes, although I'm ashamed to admit I watch it, it's so addictive and I don't know why...)
So I procrastinated again. It sounds like I had a relapse or something. Maybe there should be some kind of support group.
The internet is a dangerous place. There's so many things to distract you. If it's not watching things online, it's Tumblr or internet shopping, and internet shopping is dangerous, because they have that page that says "Recommended for You", and you know from the moment you click on that link that you are going to be spending a lot of money on things you just don't really need. Well, I say "need". I think everyone "needs" an anthology of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's works... (yes, I am an English geek!) and the dvds of Sherlock that are discounted if you purchase all three items together. Oh, and then there's that bracelet I forgot about on my Wish List. Oh, and I totally forgot about that folder I wanted to buy. And look, that folder comes discounted if you buy that bag! Bargain.
And then if you are anything like me, you look at your "Basket", and you look at how much you've just spent, and if you are a student, you inwardly cry at your shrinking bank balance; although an outward expression of woe is perfectly acceptable. But it was worth it right? Because all those items are going to be a lot cheaper than if you had bought them in the shop! So really you are saving money! Moneyexpert.com, who needs them?! I mean, everything you bought was essential to you right? Therefore, you spent your time wisely! :) Like I said, the internet is dangerous! :)
But I've become increasingly aware that recently I seem to be spending more money on things I don't particularly need, rather than sharing what I already have with other people. It's great to have things, and I am personally thankful to God for everything I have got! I have so much already, do I really need to buy that new *insert item here*? Or can I maybe spend my money wisely...? Like I said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having money and enjoying spending it and being thankful that we have things! And I'm sure I will continue to buy things I like! I'm only concerned with the attitude of selfishness that could follow with me becoming too self absorbed in what I want.
This video really affected me. It really challenged me about being so absorbed in the "need-want-have" culture. These guys don't have the choice or the "luxury" of being in the "need-want-have" culture. They're perpetually stuck in the "need food and water and health care to survive but can't afford it" culture.
So, I've done this blogging thing before. Well, at least I tried at the beginning of my first term of uni, but things got very hectic very quickly, and because too much stuff was happening in such a short space of time, I was finding it hard to write it all down. But now I've decided to try again, and I'm hoping that this time I'll be more successful. I should be revising for my exam, but it seems I'm doing this. The photo on the left is another example of a way in which I have been actively procrastinating and avoiding revision. Ah well, my wall looks more exciting anyway :)
I'm not even sure what to write as a first post. The writer in me is saying "Make it as eye catching and exciting as possible!" My lecturers are always telling me that the first sentence or the first paragraph to any piece of writing has to grip the reader and want them to read on, and I totally get their point. Many a time I've read a book or an article or an essay, and the first paragraph or the first page has been so dull that I've had to put it down. I've convinced myself that my brief synopsis of the first page has told me everything I need to know about that bit of literature. It's dull. It's rubbish. It's so bad I don't even know how it got published! It doesn't have to be a book. It could be a film or television programme or song. Maybe you recognise that you've done that yourself. Maybe even recently. And maybe even when someone asks us about that book/article/film, you have a joke about it with them: "It was so bad that I just had to switch channels!" or "I watched it for five seconds and it made me cringe!" I've done that. In fact, I think I did that today!
Don't get me wrong, there are things which justify a response whereby you put down a book or switch off the television, because they are deeply inappropriate, but that isn't what I'm getting at. What I'm really concerned about is the initial judgments that we all make (I am no exception to this!) about stuff. So let's go back to the book. I am an English literature student after all!
You've read the page and made a judgment about the entire book. The beginning was rubbish so the rest will "logically" follow suit. Now that is one massive judgment. You have no idea whether the plot of the story was intellectually challenging. You have no idea whether the plot was emotional or funny. You've just read the first page and decided that you know all there is to know.
Now this sounds a lot like that old cliche "don't judge a book by its cover." I don't mean it to be. In fact when I started this post, I literally had no idea what I was going to say!
But let's go back to that cliche we all know so well. It genuinely worries me that it has become a cliche. Cliches are usually considered as cheesy or lame or ridiculous or humorous, but I don't think that there is anything cheesy or lame or ridiculous or humorous about someone aiming to resist passing judgment on to someone or something. We've become so used to this old saying, but to what extent are we actually listening to what it is saying? I sometimes find it terrifyingly easy to pass judgment on someone or something, and the worst bit is that some of the time I try and justify my judgment. I'll watch one of the many talent shows on television and come across a person, who in my opinion is badly dressed, cringeworthy and an embarrassment. I'll laugh at them with the people around me. And it's "okay" because it's on television. These shows encourage humiliation and we do exactly what they want us to. This is the world we live in.
What I fail to remember is that these people are just like me, and I am in no position to judge anyone. I have done my fair share of stupid things and I'm only twenty years old. There is a whole lifetime ahead of me to screw up and humiliate myself! Jesus says in Matthew 7:1-3, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
Whether you are a Christian or not, I think Jesus's message is worth listening to. It's very humbling and shocking when we realise just how much we fail in this, and how often we set ourselves up as "worthy" judges. I know that I hate being judged by someone. I get annoyed that someone assumes that they "know" me at a first glance and that it gives them a right to dish out a character evaluation. And yet how often do we do the same? Scary huh?
Unfortunately, we live in a culture where people's misfortunes and public humiliation is regarded as worthy and entertaining humour. We live in a world where we take a look at a person or have a short conversation with them and we think we "know" them. This is the culture that we live in. I'm certainly striving for God to humble me in this area.This is the world future generations are going to live in, and I don't know about you, but this really worries me.
As first posts go, this is pretty serious and extremely long! The next one will be shorter. I hope!
x
End of exams. Yes!
