Life has been so hectic recently! I haven't had the time to write a blog post at all, so here is a quick run down of the events in my life if you are interested:
- First term of third year = stress + too much work
- General craziness over my future.
I'm actually going to pause for a minute to explain what I mean. In October, or perhaps earlier, it dawned on me that in less than a year, my university career will be over for good- ignoring the whole PGCE thing which I'll get to in a minute- and that I will be faced with a huge amount of decisions regarding the path my life is going to take. Career-wise, I mean. I've wanted to be a teacher for a while, and so having sent off my applications for teaching at the beginning of the Autumn term, I thought that I could ignore the scary prospect of the future, and concentrate on my dissertation. Things did not go according to plan. Funding was scrapped, and suddenly, everything was out of my hands. I had no control over anything, and that was terrifying. But I prayed, and trusted in God, not knowing what could happen, and God has been good. He's opened doors that I never knew existed, and although I am living in the aftermath, still without a fixed career destination, I feel calm. I feel rested. It might sound weird to other people that I am trusting in a seemingly invisible, make-believe entity, or a psychological and social crutch I have developed to deal with my stress, and a few months ago I thought long and hard about the reality of God- more on that in the future- but I can't explain the peace and faith in God, concerning the way I feel in regards to the uncertainty of my life at the moment.
I do remind myself as much as I can that I am fortunate in regards to my health, my education, my family, my friends, my home, and my general comforts, which strikingly contrast those who, as I sit on my bed writing this, are starving, or homeless, or cold, or malnourished, or ill and dying, or those being mentally or physically abused; those in third world nations, and those who may live next door to you and me.
But at the same time, I do have the occasional freak out session, where I cry in my room/on my mum or dad, praying and eating chocolate.
This verse has been a comfort:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Anyway, back to general update....
- Christmas!
Wooooo!!! I love Christmas, and having a four and half month old kitten running around, jumping into piles of wrapping paper, was definitely one of the highlights. And Doctor Who, of course!
- Seeing friends.
I haven't seen that many to be honest, but it's been lovely seeing them!
In regards to 2013... I'm still torn between pessimism and optimism. There's more essays, dissertation deadlines, interviews, revision, exams, applications for jobs... but on the other hand, I have lots of exciting plans as well, like getting started on my story, a lovely long summer ahead, my 21st (!!!), and 'The Beautiful Project', which I hope to start on January 1st. I will explain in due course!!!!
Although I'm not a huge fan of New Year celebrations, and the hype it installs, I think 2013 will be interesting to say the least!
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